i don't believe in beds that are cleaned and look not used. the only beds that are virgin are the ones that haven't come in contact with truth or the pain of knowing the same motions come back to us everyday (in different ways).
but through a third eye, i saw a man adorned with a very large wingspan--and he told me "i don't know what you're going thru, but you gotta leave that room"
and so i left, that was that, i took advice from a man in a large straw hat. it may seem absurd but my heart questioned cardiac arrest! and i couldn't tell if i had reason or if i just moved with changes in season.
blasting ABBA in the subway, a deacon saw me out of place and he asked--straight in my face--and said "who are you to think you know where you're running to? you're not unique and perfect so come inside and sew my shirt pocket!"
"i don't know what you're going thru, but you gotta leave that room."
"i thought i knew what you're going thru, but you gotta leave this room."
"i thought i knew what you're going thru, so let's get off the floor and let's reconvene."
stop making love and start making plans
Track Name: gloria!
Gloria! Gloria! Gloria! Gloria! i spend my evenings alone. Gloria, do you think about if you are known? 'cos i do and i think there's no reason for you.
Gloria, the dogs you walk will forget your place. Gloria, there will only be a grave in your place.
forgive me, i'm far too shallow thinking life purpose has intrinsic value.
it seems that life comes to you in smaller places and it doesn't matter who smiles or grimaces. you see, i come from a life of all petty things like good dental hygiene and gorgeous wedding rings. you will die happy and i will die sicker and i'd hope to guess that (of course) there is purpose for your gentle kindness and obnoxious storytelling. all you need is a smile and no material things that will bring you down. i am an anchor of self-deprecation and self-righteous fulfillment.
but all you need is a smile from a living being and that makes you living--you are a living being!
so gloria to you, oh Gloria!
Track Name: lenny
lenny are you with me? tell me when the show ends. is it when the music stops or the sex loses trend? i've met many people who said they are your friend. in fact, pete once told me your mind was a godsend. at 20 you got emphysema but you still wanted to light...maybe if you wrote back i could know what's right.
but i know you are a gorgeous guy, too gorgeous to die.
lenny, i can't feel you with me. i think you went wrong with telling me, a pianist, you'll give me fame for my body. i am frequently disgusted, frequently appalled, but still i know the words to all your goddamn songs.
so lenny, can you tell me what it's like to feel your heart go? with the fruits in blossom i know where your body is stowed...
you were a man who took every take to sing. you could barely even honor your wedding ring.
but i know you were a gorgeous guy, just gorgeous enough to die.
so i'll bring you back to life. i wasn't joking when i said i'd be your wife. i'll be playing Mahler 5 when i head up to brooklyn. so be ready, lenny, i'll bring you back to life! so get ready, i'm coming. better watch your back. i'll slip into the graveyard and shovel up your past. i'll wipe the dirt off my face and know that you are here. now that your body is with me, i'll whisper in your ear--
Track Name: i'm artificial
when i think about all the people i've kissed, the number is much larger than those i've missed. but as we stand in front of a coffee shop i wonder if i'm ready to hold still. and we'll lock a kiss as you take a swing, as my heart springs from my soul into the orchestra. the sound of lovely things all coming from the strings--a cliche view of how i relate to the orchestra 'cos i swear the reason why they're there is not for higher purpose, but to make a point--another lovey-dovey stand. but what do we stand for outside these metal doors? is it to learn ravel or adler or just spite someone else but you?
i can't tell you the truth, but i know that i have to leave you know while i still have a chance to try and try again.
to find some other art......ificial joy to fill my heart like an orchestra.
a warm sensation fills my heart, i feel our ending start as i don't care about the music that they play. no, not today. i won't care about the music that they play, just the way it looks when you look at me that way. never look at me that way...never look away, never look away...so don't ever look at me that way, never look at me that way because i'll walk away. i'll walk away, so i'm gonna need you to sit here and stay.
Track Name: glory days
take me back to new york city where the boys are green and the grass is pretty and the girls all wear their own suits complete with ties. take me back to new york city so i can play guitar in public and not get beaten down for not playing well.
oh, that sounds swell. in new york city i'll be doing very well.
there will be no more classical music and no more competition (although i still want there to be music with a violin). i want no reason to make people to pain (keep everybody a little closer-to-sane) and so all the people will keep raising their own arms. raising them to the sky, it offers them a choice for them to say what's on their mind and offers them a choice to make a life in their school (and take the same life in that very school).
so take me down to new york city where the boys aren't green and the girls aren't pretty and the ladies all wear sheets over their heads and their prescriptions as they shake in line to fill them up and the streets are all lined with gold.
but the saddest part about new york city is the way that the girls aren't even pretty and the men don't even have the penises you think you'd want to look for. oh, the people are all the same. oh, the people will never change. you could go all around the world and see that everyone's the same. they're all the same.
Track Name: nobody knows
driving home alone i don't know who my friend is, but i can't help missing an hour ago with you in my car. all i want is to not see you groan when you find out you have to leave your home. you've only done lust and you can't really know that nobody knows what it's like to love so i won't waste this moment with you in my arms. only good when it's platonic (can't help but think stereophonic!). but never take for granted a warmth that doesn't come from hearts but instead your arms.
so will you remember me? will you remember me when we're both too far away to care about each other?
Track Name: dear God
dear God, where were you when all those people died and all those guns were shot?
dear God, where were you when the troops went into afghanistan and that man went into that man? because you seem to speak your word without knowing what it is and, god, i'm so sick of it when you send out your preaching little kids. so, God, where were you when my friend OD'd on cocaine but survived and kept on taking it? and God, where were you when i was repeatedly told to kill myself and nearly jumped off that bridge? and God, were you hiding in the dozens of the bottles of advil packages that i had locked in storage. because you seem to speak your word without knowing what it is and, God, i'm so sick of it when you send out your preaching dying kids.
it's really quite pathetic and i wish that you would stop and i wish that you'd do other things like write a sappy song.
dear God, did you fall in love? was it a fag that broke your heart? is that why you hate them so much?
dear God, can you elaborate on why i'm going to hell? why i'm going to hell because i think you don't care about me? because i always speak my word and know exactly what it is and i don't think that i'll be sick of hell--whatever that really is--because you won't be there and you have caused me so much pain and strife.
so, dear God, please get out of my life.
Track Name: think of me
thoughts can paint a picture, dreams can reach a star (some no matter where you are). if you think of me (and i am thinking too) you will know that i love you.
think of me. i promise too, i'll think of you. days are long, love is so strong, what can i do? you're in my heart, darling, though we're apart. only dear, never fear that i shall heal you.
in my dreams i see a face sleep can't erase. off with me, faith can restore life as before 'til that day when i am with you again. think of me, i'll promise you.